Out of our 5 newborn lambs...2 died. Not because they were too little or it was cold. One died by jumping into the water trough and drowning, and the other died because Basil (our dog) broke her neck (whether by playing w/her or "herding" her...we don't know). My heart was broken over these sweet little lambs! The one that Basil killed was one that we had brought into the garage to bottle feed, after her mommy sheep refused to care for her. We were so looking forward to the opportunity to raise this lamb, and the experience it would be for the girls.
My Friend from SC called one night...her neighbor's husband from Charlotte, NC had died from kidney cancer. He was diagnosed last October (yes, 3 months ago), and died last week, leaving behind an 8 year old daughter and a 20 year old son. Such a depressing situation, even though he was blessed to be able to say all the things he needed to, for his family's sake.
Last Thursday, my adorable little 2 year old son, fell into a rock fireplace and cut his mouth. That required a few hours in the ER, and 3 stitches! He's going to be just fine, though, and while it was draining afterward...it really wasn't a stressful or panicky situation. It was, however, "coffee morning" with friend and neighbor, Erica (the ball-cap lady)...but we wound up having our fun in the presence of ER doctors and a very loopy-and at times-very mad...Luke!
All that, and I'm battling the feelings that come from having a 2 yr old as your closest companion. I'm feeling some isolation, due to a lack of adult interaction. Considering that I'm at home nearly 24/7, that would be an issue!
So that's what I have deemed "a bad week".
As my girls and I were crying...hard...on Friday afternoon, after Basil had broken the lamb's neck, I started questioning God.
I mean...He could have prevented Basil from doing that, right? He IS in control after all...right? Why DO bad things happen? He has ultimate control over everything. I just didn't understand why that baby lamb had to die. It was the culmination of a busy and frustrating week. And it boiled down to the death of that lamb. So I asked God "the question"...
WHY?
Why didn't God heal that Daddy from kidney cancer?
Why didn't God prevent that lamb from jumping into the watering trough?
Why didn't God prevent Luke from falling into the rock fireplace?
Why didn't God prevent Basil from killing the lamb we were bottle-feeding?
WHY does God allow bad things to enter into our lives?
I was so frustrated as Dean and I talked about this before drifting off into dreamland one night. Dean answered me with truth, but it was still frustrating. He said, "It's a sinful world". Okay, yes...sin plays a huge part in all of this...but God is still God. He's still on the throne. He can prevent anything He chooses to...so why not prevent something so simple as a dog from killing a lamb?
"Because that's the natural state of a dog, Carmen" Dean replied, "Dogs naturally kill smaller animals at some point because that's their nature."
Okay...I can see the animal thing...sort of. The lion can't lay down with the lamb in this sinful existence. That will only happen in Heaven. Okay...got it.
But God could still choose to prevent "the natural state of a dog". He's GOD!
"Carmen...God NEVER INTENDED for life to be this way" Dean said, "This life is NOT His plan...everything changed when we screamed for our independence from Him waaaaay back in the garden of Eden. When Adam & Eve chose to disobey God, it led to the life we now live. And just as things have gotten worse since Adam & Eve's day, things will continue to deteriorate in our day, until Christ comes back."
I started to understand what he was saying. My rebellious side was screaming about how God could have protected a little innocent lamb, though. But that's just the point! Nothing is innocent now. It hasn't been for all of existence beyond Eden. It's not an innocent existence. It's a sinful one. And bad things happen because of that.
And while God can choose to do anything...yes...He IS God, after all. He sometimes chooses to allow the bad things to happen because that's what this world and the people in it, experience most often. And if we as Christians can't relate to this world and the people in it, then they are doomed to a Godless existence forever. Because WE are the ones with the truth...WE...those of us who have repented and come to that point of salvation, which is-falling to our knees in repentance and asking Christ to be Lord of our hearts and lives. WE know the truth. And in order for the world to even give us the time of day...to take us seriously when we bear witness to our Holy and Mighty God...we must relate. Only then...when we can say "I know exactly how you feel"...can we then say "and I know what Christ did to save me and what God did to change me".
At the threshold of my perspective change, which was a profound one, I picked up the book that I'd laid down months ago, entitled, "The Shack". And guess what the next several pages included? They included answers to...
The Question.
"I still don't understand why Missy had to die." (Main character, Mack, was asking the angel/woman this question concerning the death of his 6 year old daughter, who had been murdered by a child predator)
Her response? My answer...
"She didn't have to. This was no plan of Papa's (God is referred to as "Papa" in this book). Papa has never needed evil to accomplish his good purposes. It is you humans who have embraced evil and Papa has responded with goodness. What happened to Missy was the work of evil and no one in your world is immune from it."
So while I was grasping this perspective, I picked up my personal study guide for the "One Month to Live" challenge that we're doing at church. And here's what the verses were:
"Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing." James 1:2-3
and...
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
WOW!!! Way to go, GOD!!!
I've been weary of studying this challenge because I feel like it's depressing. But I was blown away at how God pulled last week's trials together with the verses from the challenge for last week!
He's nothing short of incredibly amazing,
and even that can't touch the truth of Who He is!
and even that can't touch the truth of Who He is!
To be able to study this challenge and gain a whole new perspective on why we suffer and why God allows bad things to happen, is an absolute miracle. It's a miracle!
My perspective changed at the end of my bad week.
I have always known that God can do anything. I've always believed that God seeks to prosper us, and He does. But I've always thought that this world really belongs to God and that the devil just plays around here. And while God is God...His power is limitless...the devil has never and will never hold anything over God...we must remember that when we demanded and took our independence from God, back in the garden of Eden...He gave it over to us, and He will not forcefully take it away from us. Our free will is a gift and our independence is ours. And that's the way it will be until Christ comes to take us home. Then...the world and all the people OF IT, can HAVE themselves. And we can finally be free from sin's influence in & on our lives...free from the very act of sinning against our precious Lord.
And "the question" won't be a battle...a war...any longer. The dog won't kill the lamb. Cancer won't touch His children ever again...and stitches won't be a requirement for healing!
The Lion will lay down with the Lamb.
And weeks won't even exist...especially bad ones.
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