Friendships

I am currently walking through a tough experience with one of my daughters. I have an important question...

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At what point in a friendship do you give your friend the benefit of the doubt?

For every person in existence, a different expectation of friendship is known. Some people are in friendships where one loves the other more. Some friendships are equal. Some friendships are not. And some friendships aren't really friendships. What does God say about friendships? In Genesis, we learn how Judah's friend Hirah, was with him during the grieving time after Judah's wife died. Ah...so friends comfort us during tough times. Okay. In Exodus, we see that when the Lord spoke to Moses, it was face to face. So friends speak openly and are able to see and understand what each other says. They aren't misunderstood. Hmmm... In Judges, we read the account of someone talking to his friend about a dream he had...and expecting that friend to give him clear perspective on what God may have meant when He sent the dream. Shouldn't we be supporting our friends with what we know is God's perspective? Hint, hint...it's found in the Bible and you can know it well through Bible Study! It would take 47 million blogs to enter in all the truths that God has in His Word concerning friendships. There are just a few truths that I want to point out on this matter. True Friendships Should Always... ~Be a comfort during tough times. ~Be free from having to analyze what each others intentions are, giving the benefit of the doubt to each other, choosing to believe the best instead of assuming the worst. ~Point each other to Christ, encouraging the exploration of what God's perspective is and what He says in His Word concerning the various situations that arise (because man's perspective is flawed!). Why are these basic rules of friendship so incredibly hard to grasp?

I've struggled with these issues myself for years. Why would a friend NOT give you the benefit of the doubt? Why does a true friendship struggle so much with believing that it's participants have pure intentions and an honest heart? Why would a Godly friend choose to be irritated and frustrated instead of seeking God's face when considering a friendship? And yes, I know that people get burned in relationships...it's like a viscious cycle...but... Friendship should not be that hard. Especially amongst children.

How complicated can sharing gum and lip gloss possibly be?!!??

The complications boggle my mind and fry what's left of my brain. It's simply ridiculous. And as the world turns, it only grows more impossible. So let me say this to anyone in danger of stumbling across my blog today...

Friends care enough about each other to ask before assuming.

THEN, they care enough about each other to

trust the response instead of misjudging the intentions. And then they forgive if a mistake is made, and move on.

Sounds too simple to be true. Ask Trust Forgive And those are words from the 2nd grade vocabulary list. A vocabulary list is not just spelling, either. It also requires definition. Know what I mean?

My God Is Faithful

In the hectic pace of life, do you ever wonder just how faithful God is? Do you ever fail to see Him even in the tiniest of details? Let me encourage you to expect big things from God. He is faithful. He never fails us. He is interested in the details of our day...everyday. In Psalm 44, the plea of the believer in Christ goes from reminding us what God has done for us in the past, to describing the persecution that is upon him...to asking God to reveal Himself once again, claim victory over the present afflictions, and give relief. And in Psalm 44:21, we are reminded that "He knows the secrets of the heart". How incredibly comforting that is, in this present time, be it a joyful time or a challenging time, that God knows the secrets of our heart!

I love to be reminded of how interested God is in the secrets of my heart and the details of my day!

It's like driving up behind the rear-end of the school bus on that first day of school (previous blog). It's like having that extra bit of money at just the right time. And it's when He places sweet words on the lips of your children, that we are reminded of His faithfulness...His measure of relief. Like a cool drink of water that is so refreshing to our mouth. We must endure the challenges in order to be reminded of His faithfulness and love for us. To truly experience a joyful life, God's promises, and to know Who God Is...we must first experience the frustrating and sometimes heartbreaking situations that we encounter on a day-to-day basis. Speaking of sweet words on the lips of children... Luke started preschool yesterday. He's so little and precious...that sweet innocence of the toddler years, when the babes are learning to think on their own, yet copy every word that comes out of your mouth ("ah, maaaaaaan!!!"). I still love to smell him. And so God really touches my heart through Luke's innocence and truest form of speaking and thinking. Don't toddlers tell you what they REALLY think?!?!!! "Luke...did you like school?" "Yes." "Did you like Mrs. Diane?" (a nod of that sweet blond head) Then out of the blue...CLEAR AS A BELL...Luke says, "I learn about Jesus!" Remember the ladybug blog? Well...I must have melted twice as much when Luke said THAT! Another PRECIOUS way that God chose to be faithful to me today. Another way that God connected with my heart...encouraged me...loved on me...and expressed interest in the details of my day. Could He have picked a better surprise? I'll take one of those EVERY day!!! But if we don't give God a chance...if we don't take a "coffee break" from our hectic days, we'll be hard pressed to see those surprises. And He has them for us everyday. Remember...He knows the secrets of our heart. And He knows exactly how to speak to them.

The Start of Another School Year...OH BROTHER!

The day started off GREAT, as I rolled out of the bed at 6:15am.

If you can call rolling out of the bed at 6:15am GREAT. Most of the time...it's okay. It takes a few cups of coffee to get to GREAT!!!

So by the time 7:15am hit, it had already turned truly stressful.

Such a

Terrible

Rush

Evicting

Summerlyn, Savannah, &

Scarlett

From

U (okay...I don't have one for U)...Their

Loving home

After hollering 4 times that it was time to "fix hair"...we DO have a routine every morning...I managed to get them into the 'burb.

Off we went. Did I mention that I also got ready for work...and got Luke ready...in the craziness? Well...I did!

Being that it was the first day of school, I parked in the "no parking" zone (it's a tradition!), and we headed for class. Dropping Scarlett off was a breeze, as usual. HER middle name should've been "Breeze"...instead of the middle child's middle name being Breeze. The middle child...my precious beautiful rose, Savannah, was NOT such a breeze. By the time we tromped all over Copper Ridge trying to find her classroom (she insisted it was a "mobile unit", which it did NOT turn out to be), the bell had rung. Savannah is NOT the child you want to bring to class after the bell has rung...especially on the first day of school!

She refused to enter...the room, I mean. When I finally got her in the room, she could barely function (with the entire class staring at her!), and refused to sit in her assigned seat because she was assigned to sit with 2 boys. I gave her about 2 minutes before I called her out into the hall.

I have to tell you that her teacher is not only new to Copper Ridge, but he just graduated in May...of 2009. And has only been married for 8 months. If not for his stature, he would appear to be a few years older than my oldest son. Wait...I think he IS a few years older than my oldest son...ANYWAY...I felt terrible for him! Savannah was NOT making it easy. Back to the hall...and I'm warning you...I said a cuss word. That was, of course, just before I headed to my job at the church.

Hey...I'm definitely NOT perfect.

"Savannah!"

"Yes?"

"You WILL go sit at your assigned seat!"

"MOM!!! I'm not sitting with boys!!!"

"God made those boys...and you've just made them feel terrible! Not to mention what your teacher thinks!!!"

"Ummm..."

"Savannah, I'm giving you about 60 seconds to step back in that room, get your pencil, and go sit beside of those boys. If you don't do it RIGHT NOW, I will take you home and beat the hell out of you!!!"

She turned as I opened the door, walked in & got her pencil, and went reluctantly to sit at her assigned desk. WHEW!!!

Of course, by this time, Summerlyn (who had insisted on getting Luke out and coming inside with us), was wrestling Luke out of the big boys bathroom. She snatched him up and we hurried on our way. After all...this WAS her first day of middle school...!

As we pulled up to the light on Norris Freeway, I realized that the middle school drop-off was not going to be a quick one. The traffic was backed up 2 blocks. After 30 minutes, we managed to make it nearly to the door before Summerlyn, teary eyed, said "Mom...I changed my mind! I DO want you to walk me in!". I immediately parked, got Luke out, and in we walked, w/me LOVING the fact that she felt comfortable in asking me to accompany her inside the building! My strong-willed Summerlyn was very nervous.

As soon as she saw her friend Lily, waving her hand from where she was sitting w/some of Summerlyn's other friends, in the auditorium, Summerlyn was fine. She ran down to them with me reminding her of what bus to ride home after school.

Another "WHEW"!!!

Then Luke and I were off to the church (a nice place to repent from my usage of the word "hell"...by-the-way...it's not the words, of course...it's the way we use them).

After school, the kids played on the front porch, during which time Luke decided to pull of his dirty diaper and spread it head to toe! Seriously, WHAT is the temptation in that? I STILL DON'T GET IT!!! After I cleaned THAT mess up...he decided to paint "Lukie-style" w/a purple paint roller from his big sister's room (we're almost done remodeling her room). He enjoyed painting my furniture, the steps (carpeted), and parts of the floor. And all this action was AFTER the school rush!

But I want to share the most important part of my crazy first-day-of-school-day...

I was trying so hard to get a few things done at work. I knew that in order to be at the bus stop in time to pick up the girls from the bus, I needed to leave work no later than 11:15am. It takes between 30-35 minutes from the time the bell rings to go home, for the bus to reach our stop. Lukie baby and I left Grace at 11:21am...I was sweatin', but knowing that my 'burb clock is 7 minutes fast, I knew we'd be fine. About 5 minutes into my journey home, I realized that the bus time I'd figured was based on my Suburban clock's 7 minutes fast time! CRAP!!! That meant that I was 6 minutes PLUS 7 minutes behind!!! I drove as fast as I dared, thinking all the while that my girls would either be dropped at my neighbor and friend's driveway or...? What? What if Erica wasn't at home? What if the bus driver dropped them off at the bus stop and they started walking up the dangerous road to our house?

I was in tears by the time I crested the glorious hill that revealed the behind of the bus in my sight...not yet having arrived at our bus stop...with my precious cargo on board. And then God said...

"I've got you covered"

I cried good, then...wiping my tears as the bus driver pulled to a stop and my girls got out and crawled in the 'burb, relief flooded my soul.

My God knew that I needed to know that He saw me. I needed to know that God saw the rotten morning I'd had. I needed to know that He remembered that I existed. And He didn't let me down, because...

He never fails.

No matter how rotten my morning may turn out to be, God is waiting to soothe my soul. He's waiting to remind me that He sees me and He loves me.

So my spirits lifted.

Enough to keep me fairly calm as I scrubbed purple paint off of my carpet and furniture.

I didn't hollar...
TOO loud...

Where Has The Time Gone?

Two months. It's been nearly two months since I last blogged. I can't begin to tell you everything that has happened during that time. June seemed to pass rather leisurely...but I barely even remember July! I answered a call...from God...around the end of June or so. No...He didn't use the phone. My phone is kind of crappy, anyway, so He might not have gotten through using my phone! Went through several in-depth interviews...and began working as a Preschool Ministry Assistant at my beloved Grace...once again. I'm actually coordinating the volunteers on Sunday mornings (about 75-100 per week), which is what I did when I worked at Grace before. Only now, there are a few other things I do as well, and I have more freedom and support to work! I absolutely LOVE my job. It's all about people and children. Both of which, I have a whole lot of experience with. Mostly good experience, but not without challenging relationships. And that's really what we deal with on a daily basis...relationships. So we'd be stone statues if we didn't face challenges right along with them! But that's a blog on a different day... Today, I just want to share w/you a couple of funnies I've experienced and learned over the summer... We recently bought a 700 pound cow. I named him Steak. We had to leave him in the neighbors pasture, because our peaceful little one couldn't handle such an obese intrusion. Dean came home one day after work and insisted we go for a walk down the driveway so I could get my picture of our new addition (before we sent him to market). Dean pointed him out, and it was exciting to watch Steak interact with his cow friends! Yum Yum!! So we got our pictures and came back home to email them out to our loved ones...to let them know our latest news...and as we flipped through the photos, Dean began to chuckle... "Uh...Carmen" "These pics are GREAT, aren't they honey?!!" "Um...yes..." "I can't wait to send these to our family!!! They need to see Steak, too!!!" "Yes, well...flip back a couple of pictures...I need to look at something" "What are you looking at, honey?" "Well..." snicker, snicker..."see that picture that shows his rear?" "Uh-huh" "Well...that doesn't look right" "What do you mean? It's a butt...ummm..." "Yes...but it's a girl-butt" "WHAT??!!!!" "That's not Steak" "You mean you pointed out a cow that I took all these pictures of and we almost emailed out pictures of a GIRL COW??!!!" "Uh...YEP!" And we proceeded to laugh until we cried!!!! As plain as day...it was a GIRL COW!!!! Needless to say...I didn't send out pictures of Steak. But now he's in the freezer...so it doesn't matter anyway. I didn't even know what color he was...sniff, sniff. In the process of all that, we sold our dearly beloved sheep and bought 2 calves...both boys. I named them "Bull" and "Moo". Toooooooo cute!!! We've bottle-fed them and banded them. It's a great experience for the kids...having cows. I LOVE looking outside during the day and seeing the cows eating grass. So peaceful. We had fun at "Meme Camp" at my parents house, visiting w/my Grandma, Aunt Debbie, & brother JET. Their house was recently remodeled and looks amazing!!! Why they didn't do that when I was still living there...AH!!!! I KNOW why!!! I'd probably STILL be there!!!! HAHAHAHHAA!!! No offense to my wonderful hubby and beautiful children, of course... We visited my precious Sherry and her family this summer. It was so wonderful to spend time with her...I always enjoy it. Our kids love each other, too. They've known each other since Summerlyn & Rachel were 2 & 3...and Rachel taught Summerlyn how to do things. I can still hear Rachel... "put your leg over...like this..." And I looked in to see them doing something that would forever change our lives. They were crawling out of Summerlyn's crib... I also purchased something I've never owned before...a food processor. Those are really fun and interesting appliances!!! I bought the Big Mouth by Hamilton Beech. And don't even think about making a rude comment about THAT!!! It broke the first day I used it. I had just finished shredding 12 pieces of squash, 3 zucchini's, and slicing 6 tomatoes, when I inserted the cheese. It made this AWFUL racket and after I tried it several more times, I realized that the inner plastic tube had stripped. What a piece of junk! Went right back to Walmart...it did!!! But it was fun owning a Big Mouth for all of 3 days. Hey...guess what?! Over the summer, I learned that my husband of nearly 15 years... HATES ketchup. Isn't that something I should have known about him from like...the first date? Well...no. We had spaghetti on our first date (actually...I always had a no-spaghetti rule when I was dating, so HE had spaghetti...I had cheese sticks). So I fix these yUmMy "house burgers" (remember Eddie and forget his dirty mouth!) a few weeks ago...and I fixed a big fat one up for my man. We're sitting down at the table...where it's quiet (for once), while all the kids are munching on their house burgers. My other 1/2 (notice I didn't say better-half) says, "aaaaaawwwwwwww" (real disgusted like)... "KETCHUP??!!!! I HATE KETCHUP!!!!!" "You DO?" "You KNOW I hate ketchup!!!!" "I DO?" So I'm thinking...we've been married for over 14 years and I didn't realize my husband hates ketchup? It was an enlightening moment for me...Dean choked down his ketchup house burger with no further comment...except... "it was very good, but would have been better with no KETCHUP..." Oops! Well...at least he adhered to the "house rules" while eating his "house burger"! Eat it or starve. That's MY philosophy...this ain't no restaurant! I was proud of him. So I learned not to put ketchup on my man's food. Seems kind of trivial, huh? It actually goes back to that relationship thing I said was "a blog on a different day"...it's important to know little details about your other 1/2. Details like which side of the sink they put the bar of soap on when they are finished using it (the left...and WHY? I ask!!!????). Knowing which room they visit right after they enter the door after work (the restroom), and how they like their bacon fixed (chewy-YUCK!-who EATS that?!!!). Knowing what their favorite flavor of icecream is (chocolate), always has benefits. After a long, hot day at work...you can cool them right down w/some good 'ole Breyers! It's just as important to know what they DON'T like. MY man does not like hotdogs. He doesn't like cold baths. He doesn't like too much noise or too much nonsense. He isn't particularly wild about my cold toes hitting his leg when I'm freezing. And he wants to see me in something besides my pajamas when he gets home from work at 5pm (...ummm...working on it!). And when he gets home at 5pm, it's definitely time for dinner! But I definitely won't be serving hotdogs w/ketchup!!! After a decade and 1/2, I've learned a thing or two about ketchup. I've also learned some things about relationships... And it won't take me 2 months to share with you about that!