Jerkin' out your hair...in frustration

Do you ever get frustrated with the relationships around you?

The marriage relationship...your friendships...your children...and yes, even your dog (especially when she sweetly licks strangers instead of biting them!). No matter how wonderful these relationships can be, there comes a time every once in a while, when they are less than what you want them to be...and your feelings are crazy with frustration. Whether it's frustration over something that was said or not said...something that was done or not done, it becomes a pitfall. Instead of taking that frustration and doing something about it, sometimes we give up. Sometimes we turn frustration into...
hopelessness.

We allow the devil to convince us that if we get frustrated enough...it's hopeless.

In studying the word "frustration" in the Bible, I realized that God not only knows about our frustrations, but He draws a direct parallel from them to our freedom from the stuff in life that can hold us back. He purposely allows us to be frustrated as a means to grow in our walk with Him.

Huh?

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God." Romans 8:18-21

Depending on the situation, I guess I've always seen my frustrations as a secret plot on behalf of my wonderful children to drive me crazy...or on behalf of my husband...to turn me into a maid inside of the glorious duties of running a household. Or maybe it's the secret goal of the driver in front of me to push my mental capacities of operating a vehicle to the foaming-at-the-mouth level, as I try my best to NOT freak out when he/she drives like an idiot! Some frustrations are so ridiculous, I have to wonder if I'm on "Candid Camera". I would be embarrassed in some situations, at what my frustrated reaction would be to some of the stunts they've pulled on people in the past. But frustration is so much a part of our everyday, that there's even a game entitled "Frustration"! Like frustrations are funny? Like we need help going "mad"??? Give me a break! Frustrations are frustrating and so is that game...though it could teach us to lighten up on things, huh?

But even more than surface frustration...I'm talking about relational frustration. The surface stuff is only practice for dealing with the real frustrations found in our relationships.

Dude...it's heavy stuff.

Starts out with the toddler who can't decide if he wants to pee-pee in the potty, on the carpet, or in his diaper-and your reaction to him as a Mom...and moves on to the married couple who struggles with constantly being irritated with each other-and how they settle those irritations (or IF they settle them)...and even includes the friend who expresses her desire to eat lunch with you, every time you see her, but who never moves towards fulfilling that desire.

Here's what Paul says in Romans concerning frustration...

We are purposely exposed to frustration, in order to build our character enough to have the ability to be free from the small stuff in life we take issue with...to be spiritually exercised and strengthened so that we can grow into mature men and women, meeting the goal that God has in mind for us.
It's interesting to think about a life without frustration...or challenges.

Where would our faith be? How would we grow? How would we relate to other people?

Sin exists. And if we are not challenged in life...or in our faith, how will we establish the kind of character and strong faith in Christ to combat sin?

Without frustration, how are we challenged
to make a difference in a dying world?

Easy...you may say. Without that daily dose of nose-flaring, eye-rolling, tongue-lashing craziness...we might actually accomplish something great! And for a while, that might work. But at some point, you'll get tempted and distracted by the world. You'll listen to that age-old lie from the devil that says "I deserve...". And your desire will wane. After all...you're satisfied with all aspects of your life, right? You're not really interested in encouraging others in their failed relationships when you can't even relate to their frustrations. Let somebody else do that...

To quote Dr. Viktor Frankl, psychologist and survivor of Auschwitz, "The bland, satisfied life means little, accomplishes little, and is remembered little."

God wants our life to be blessed. He wants us to be content. But He doesn't want us to be so satisfied that we fail to make a difference for Him...or that we can't relate to those hurting souls around us who desperately need Him.

And a lot of times, in the frustrations that pass through our day after having first been filtered through His loving hands, we fail to realize the lesson He wants us to learn. And if we can't get past an irritated spouse or an oblivious driver...how can we ever sincerely take part of the bigger motion picture? The one in which God created a role especially for us? The role that serves to make us stronger so that we can make an even bigger difference for Christ...

It really all goes back to our purpose. And I say this with all confidence...

Our daily frustrations help shape us
into the person God created us to be,
in order for us to fulfill the purpose
for which He created us.

It's that simple.

Fighting back the desire to jerk out our hair at the roots (or our darling children's hair), however, isn't.

So don't get overwhelmed by your frustrations. It's not hopeless.

Trust God's plan and ask Him if there's a better way to deal with them...

other than screamin'...or shootin' your computer...

Pick Up Your Tools and LIVE!

So how has God equipped us to make a difference for Him everyday?
Before we look at the equipment gifted to us through salvation, let me remind you of something...

You can be starving to death...have all the delicious food in the world piled up beside you...but you still have to make the effort to reach over, pick it up, and eat it, before you can be nourished. The same is true of being nourished by His Word...The Bible.

God has made the tools for living out this life
available to us, but it's up to us
to reach into the toolbox (The Bible),
pull out the tools, and use them.

He will not force us to do so. And we already carry the gifts that are mentioned in Ephesians 3. We've just got to use them!

"This is according to the purpose of the ages, which He made in the Messiah, Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness, access, and confidence through faith in Him." Ephesians 3:11-12

What these verses indicate is that through faith in Christ...by asking Him to come live in your heart, by giving your heart & life to Him, in repentance of sin and through trusting Him...we have a certain boldness to live out life as a witness for Him and a sacrifice to Him...we have access to His glorious plan/wisdom/love/grace/mercy, and all that He offers us...and we have confidence to carry out His plan for our lives. And confidence that we can forever trust His intentions.

Again, I am only scratching the surface...
In verse 19, Paul's desire is for us to be filled with all the fullness of God. Part of knowing how to use that boldness, access, and confidence is understanding God's love for us, which leads to being filled with His fullness. So how do we comprehend the length/width/height and depth of His love? We start by trusting Christ as our Lord and Savior. We continue the walk by putting into practice our new found boldness...access...and confidence. Only then can we realize that Christ sacrifice was our new beginning...on the walk towards knowing God's love for us and truly being free.

Don't you just love that?

"Now to Him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think---according to the power that works in you---to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
Realizing the gifts...the tools...that we have through faith in Christ enables the Holy Spirit to work more profoundly in us, to the glory of God.

We reach out and God reaches in.

That's a bold statement that offers access to the Creator of the universe...
and I'm stating it with utter confidence.
And we need to live that truth and share that truth everyday. In everything we do. Through lifestyle evangelism, and just plain 'ole using our mouth.

THAT makes the difference!

Jews & Gentiles

In Sunday School right now, we're studying Ephesians. To some, the first couple of chapters of Ephesians can be on the boring side...or the convicting side. Depends on how many times you appreciate being reminded Who God is and who you are.


Being reminded what God has done for us should be convicting.




As I've been studying chapter 3, there are a couple of truths that jump right off the page to pierce my heart. I'm going to share those with you...
"...I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus on behalf of you Gentiles---you have heard, haven't you, about the administration of God's grace that He gave to me for you? The mystery was made known to me by revelation, as i have briefly written above. By reading this you are able to understand my insight about the mystery of the Messiah. This was not made known to people in other generations as it is now revealed to His holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit: the Gentiles are co-heirs, members of the same body, and partners of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel." Ephesians 3:1-6 hcs
To fully grasp what these verses mean, you 've got to know Paul, and you've got to understand what a "Gentile" is. Before Paul gave his heart and soul to Christ, he was known as "Saul". He was of Jewish descent...the Jew of the Jews. If anyone could get into Heaven based on works and heritage, it was Saul. He violently persecuted Christian believers. And those believers challenged everything that the Jews believed about God. Which was a works & tradition based entry into Heaven, not a faith-based entry into Heaven. That changed when he met the resurrected Jesus on the road to Damascus one day. See...you can't meet Jesus and not be changed! Not only did Christ change his heart...He changed Saul's name. Paul lived out his life as a sacrifice to Christ, ministering to Gentiles. In fact, he believed that was his life's mission...to minister in the name of Christ. Sound familiar? Aren't we as Christians...Christ's followers...called to minister in His name? Hmmm...
"Gentile"...Webster's (love me some Webster's) defines gentile this way: a person of a non-Jewish nation or a non-Jewish faith. That means that anyone who is not of Jewish descent is a Gentile. And THAT means that when God sent Paul to minister to the Gentiles and reveal the plan He had for all Jews & Gentiles, who would believe in Christ and trust Him as their Savior, to come together as one church (joint heirs/joint bodies/joint partakers-verse 6),

God was talking about OUR salvation and His plan for US.
Now for those of you who love to study the history of the Bible and the people whom God talks about in the Bible, I know this is a condensed version of Paul's life story and his relation to the Gentiles. But I am simply sharing a truth that, in studying Ephesians, God has particularly pressed on my heart.

And that is...
From the beginning of time, God had a very detailed plan to save me...to save us. And to cover every possible issue, He used Paul, who would come directly from the uppercrust of the Jews (considered to be THE most religious people of generations past), to teach and lead and give opportunity for mankind to understand that Christ is the ONLY WAY to Heaven. God didn't give up when Jesus was rejected then. But praise Him that the price was paid!!! To this very day, God has an army of believers ready to fight the good fight! And we Christians, who are called by His name, should be a part of that...because God has called us to be.

That's crazy good stuff, dude! That applies in every way possible to how we live out EACH DAY!

So my question is this: Despite frustrations, circumstances, and situations...are you making a difference for Christ every day?

Paul did.
And so should we.

Is that your focus
as each day rolls off the calendar?

Tommorrow, we'll talk about how God has equipped us as believers, to make that difference for Him every day. Hint...check out Ephesians chpt 3, verse 12.

God Wants the Small Stuff (And the Big!)

Have you ever been frustrated over making a decision? You may get frustrated over deciding which restaurant to eat at...especially if the kids are all hollering for something different! You may get frustrated over what size pants to purchase...especially if the ones that fit you best are a size bigger than you wanted them to be! You may scratch your head trying to figure out where to invest your money...or time...probably both. Frustration may cause lines to cross your face when trying to make a job decision...or whether to purchase a home. These are all certainly good candidates for a frustrating experience.

Each of these decisions brings about a certain amount of stress, even if it's just getting the kids to settle down and accept that you're going to eat at home instead of Wendy's!

And most of us can even determine the most logical decisions to make in each of these scenarios.

But what decision does God want us to make? What decision does He have in mind that is best for us?

Sometimes it's not always as clear cut as we would like for it to be. Take eating out, for example...you can't pick up a bucket of Bojangles if you only have $3. If you can't squeeze into the size 12, you have to purchase the size 14. And if you have no extra money to invest...you simply don't invest what you don't have!
But what about the decision for Moms to stop working and stay at home? Some Moms could do that if the family lifestyle was adjusted, while others really don't have that option. And what about the decision to purchase a new home that better fits your family? Some people could afford to live in a nicer home than they do now...or they could choose to stay put and enjoy a luxury of some other kind. What about the decision for a Mom to go to work part-time?...the decision to sell your nicer home for something more modest?

How do you make decisions that seem lateral? Decisions that wouldn't be a complete lifestyle change for you? While most of the time, it seems that our decisions are made in order to go from something negative to something positive...bad to good...unacceptable to acceptable...

What about the decisions we make that are between good and good?

I have to admit that it's much easier for me to knock down God's door with what I perceive as a life-altering decision...and easier for me to see God's answer...than when I'm faced with a choice that is perceived as "fine either way".

As I get older, I'm understanding more clearly my incredibly desperate need for God. I can't breath without Him. And yes, we as Christians know how physically true that statement is. But it's also true mentally. This life can be CRAZY frustrating at times. With the silliest of decisions. But you know what?

God doesn't mind us begging Him for His input on where to eat dinner. In fact, He LOVES to take our frustrations, no matter how ridiculous they can seem, and ease them. The problem lies in our inability to make it a habit of giving those frustrations to Him. Our ignorance in thinking that the small stuff doesn't matter and we can "get over it" on our own. The truth is...sometimes we just can't get over the small stuff! We'll allow it to ruin our day...ruin our summer...ruin our vacation...and steal our joy.

In fact, I'm convinced that when the devil can't get us with the bigger stuff in life, he jumps all over our can on those little frustrations. And instead of getting in the Word...and using it to soothe our minds and irritated hearts, we get ill and hateful with our family and develop the habit of seeing more negative in situations than we see positive. And that's not how God wants us to live.

It's like watching your toddler get stressed over whether to choose the cookie in your right hand or the cookie in your left hand. It can ruin the whole experience of having a cookie in the first place! And both cookies are chocolate chip. At least in my world...

Again...God wants us to live life to the fullest.

The key is this:
Only God knows that the cookie He would choose for you
has chocolate coating on the back.
And since you only get to choose once...
wouldn't you want to ask Him about it?

Just my crazy way of thinking.

Funny that when I get the most frustrated, it's that crazy dependency on Him that brings me the most comfort...and the least amount of frustration.

Especially in the small stuff.

The Time of My Life

The past year has gone by sooooo quickly. I am getting ready to hit my one year mark in blogging. It's been an amazing year! I must admit that this blog has been incredibly therapeutic for me. And I've been discovering that this time in my life is actually the time of my life. Throughout the various challenges of the past year, I'm realizing just how true what my parents have said before, "You better enjoy this stage of your life...it IS the good old days!" (speaking of childhood and early parenting). Through sleepless nights associated with having little ones (ear infections, bad dreams, etc.), and in solving life's problems in the mind of my 9 year old, God is showing me that the precious life He's given us is unique...and fun. There are always going to be frustrations in life. But God wants us simply to grow from those experiences, and enjoy life.
When I began blogging last June, my heart was heavy. I had just been diagnosed with OCD and was fighting the urge to rearrange my pillows every 10 minutes! I was also struggling with the fact that my teenage son Tyler, was entering his last year of high school. And I felt that he was in no way ready for the challenges that would come after that.












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I remember something my Doctor told me in his office...it didn't make much since to me at the time (as I was so focused on Dyson and book bags!), but hindsight is 20/20, eh? He said, "Once you realize that your son is going to make it...he's going to be okay...you'll likely be able to reduce your medication or even come completely off of it".

Huh?

What did letting go of my fears concerning my son have to do with vacuuming the carpet 2 or 3 times per day?

How did struggling with his final years as a "kid" connect with my need to wipe down my kitchen counters over and over again (or count my cash till 6 times at Beth's sale...aka...The Picky Chic)?
You get the idea. I wasn't able to see the relation of his comment to my obsessive behaviour until I was able to "let go and let God".











Let go and let God...

May seem to be an overused, cornball phrase, but it's actually something we fail to do in our everyday lives.
















I decided last October, to stop taking my OCD medication. And no...I don't believe in Oprah & her "professionals" when they talk about the ability to heal yourself on your own. If there was ANY merit to that, my Grandmother Thomas would still be on this Earth, as well as my precious Pa. Oprah is ridiculous...but that's a different blog! I had moved into the realm of sleeplessness because of the medication, so I decided to take a break. The REAL break came back in February sometime, when I realized that Tyler would either make it or break it on his own. He was failing his Senior English class, of which, he would be required to pass in order to graduate. The old fear started creeping into my heart. But I'd had enough, so I told God that it was "His problem" if Tyler didn't pass. I decided that I had done all I could do as Tyler's Mother. Not given him everything...not given in to everything...but definitely done all I could do to raise him the way that I know God called me to raise him.
And when we come to that point...that's when we experience peace and true understanding that God is REALLY the One in control. It's never us, anyway! And I began to understand what the Doctor meant when he made that comment so many months ago in his office.

Whether you believe in God or not, at some point you have to realize that you are NOT in control of your life. Sure...you can make major decisions, as well as minor decisions, that effect your life in big ways. But you're still not in ultimate control of your life. If you do believe in God, and especially if you have a relationship with Him...then you know Who actually has ultimate control. And you're grateful beyond measure for that!
I can't fully express to you the load that was lifted from me when I threw up my hands and said, "If he graduates...that's great! If he doesn't...OH WELL!".
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Tyler belongs to God. And God has Tyler's best interest in mind. If Tyler chooses to veer off the path that God has created in his best interest...that doesn't mean that God is surprised or that God doesn't have a path that He'll allow Tyler to follow as an alternate to His original path.

Can you see the map yet?

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" And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28 nas

God's map says that He will work all things together for our good. No matter how hard we try or how far we go off the beaten path, God will not give up on us. Therefore, I knew that if Tyler failed his class and didn't graduate, God was already all over that! And if GOD is all over it, what do I have to worry about?
My OCD isn't completely satisfied. I still itch when the house isn't "picked up" or when the kids throw their stuff down on the floor (I have hives as I type this-hahahha!!!). And I still have a passionate love for my Dyson! But I no longer check the couches before I turn off the lights for bed. I don't freak when I find somebodies shoes piled up in a corner (or even out in the middle of the room!). And I only counted my till 2 times at the spring Picky Chic sale...BTW...let me give credit to Beth for the very special way she celebrated my birthday with a yummy piece of cake and a serenade from the crowd of workers/shoppers on the first day of the spring sale. I felt so loved and am so appreciative of her for that!!!

My OCD may never be completely satisfied. And it may rear it's frustratingly ugly head when I least expect it. But my God is an awesome God! And He works it all for my good, as well as for the good of anyone around me who loves Him. Sometimes we just need to trust Him. He has the perfect remedy, and He's waiting for us to take it. It's called....

Letting go.

And it requires us to let Him deal with it. No matter what we're faced with...the death of a loved one...a sickness...a frustrating day...a financial hardship...or even things like brushing my teeth 4 times a day.
My Tyler managed to pass his Senior English class. And in the days to follow, our family celebrated his graduation.
And in celebrating that, we didn't just praise God for a passing grade.

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We gave thanks for a family...for a Godly heritage...for a supportive network made up of people who love Tyler and care about his future.



Right now, he's stepping out

to what that future may hold.

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Of course, we don't know what the future holds.

But as the old hymn reminds us in it's glorious melody...

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow

Because He lives, all fear is gone.

Because I know

He holds the future.

And life is worth the living just because He lives."

We KNOW Who holds the future, and Tyler.