Perfect?

Well, I'm getting ready to meet with my Leadership Team and nail down all the goodies concerning our first MOPS meeting next Thursday!

I'm very excited! A little bit nervous! I'll be speaking next Thursday night from Proverbs 31. This afternoon, I was sharing with my friend Amanda that women have such a misconception about the Proverbs 31 woman. If you read the description that God lays out there, she sounds like SUPERWOMAN, or at the very least...perfect.

The misconception is that we are supposed to actually BE perfect. HELLO! Not happening at MY house!!! With my dirty dishes piled high (Summerlyn forgot her dish day), and the laundry piling up (I hate laundry), and my floor needing to be vaccuumed for the 11th time this week (call me fanatic...or just OCD), I definitely FEEL less than perfect! Look...I'm gonna bust that misconception. While the Proverbs 31 woman does sound like the perfect woman...guess what?

She's not.

And neither are you.

Guess what else?

God didn't call you to be perfect.

He just calls us to obey Him...to put forth the effort to care for our families.

Are you with me? How much effort do you put forth? How many excuses do you use for letting the dishes pile up, the crumbs litter the carpet, the laundry sour? How many excuses do you give your kids when they want some "Mommy" time? How many headaches excuse your intimacy with your husband each week/month?

(well maybe if your husband acted a 'tard like my Uncle Jim in the above pictures, you would have a valid excuse to have a headache-hahahahahhaaahahha!!! Just kidding, Uncle Jim)

God didn't call you to be perfect, Ladies.

He just called you.

More to come...

Go Panthers!

As many of you know, I am a DIE-HARD NFL fan, & a forever Carolina Panther fan! We lived in Charlotte when that team was formed, and only lived about 8 minutes MAX, from the stadium. You want to hear a funny story? Story of my life, huh? Funny...!

Anyway, at one point in our crazy lives, Dean & I owned an icecream and deli shop in Charlotte, NC. We expanded to have one inside of the newest YMCA in the Charlotte University area. It was definitely a learning experience in our lives, but BELIEVE ME...that's a whole 'nother blog!!!!!

Let me continue...
We had a coke machine that was "ours" beside of our counter at the YMCA. With Coke, you have a choice to pay them when they fill the machine, and you empty out all the change, etc. from the machine yourself, OR...they control the change AND fill it up
w/Coke, which cost a little bit more in maintenance fees. Well...before we decided to collect the change ourselves (meaning, when Coke was collecting the change AND filling the machine), Coke had a contest.

Are you with me?

The Coke guy came in to fill it and had to tell me about the contest, BECAUSE, the contest was for tickets to...guess where?!!! THE PANTHER STADIUM for a home game!!!! I was determined to have those tickets!!! Being the ethical person I am, I pulled out a hand full of quarters from my cash register, and as soon as Mr. Coke man locked the machine back up, I was inserting the quarters! He just howled!!! I had to "buy" about 6 or 8 Cokes from MYSELF to finally get the can that had the tickets on it!!!! I about peed my pants!!!!

Of course, Dean laughed and wasn't that moved by my big win.

"You know they're gonna be in the nose-bleed section, Carmen" he says.

"Who CARES?!!!" I say, "It's THE PANTHERS!!!!".

So we went to the game, and sat 2 rows down from the very top. Dean laughed the whole time, and kept telling me that he needed an oxygen mask, we were up so high. So what...?... if the bathrooms were 15 rows down and 1/2 mile around the stadium?! It was THE PANTHERS!!!! We did have so much fun!!!! It is definitely something I won't forget.

The Panthers have been rotten over the years. But I have fresh hope every year! They just MIGHT have a great year this year. If not...somebody will likely be looking for a job.

Winning is the key.
No matter how you play the game,
what happens in the end is what counts...right?

One of my all time favorite NFL players is Brett Favre. As you know, he ended a long career with Green Bay this year, after changing his mind about retiring. I was ticked about that, considering all the years he's given them the best he's got. And that's A LOT! He had a good opening day with his new team, the New York Jets. After the game, a reporter asked him if he felt weird playing in that stadium, with that team, and what he thought of the game in general. He responded with a shrug and a comment about the performance of the team, but what he said last is what caught my attention. He said, "We won. It wasn't pretty playin', but we won. And whatever happens in the end is what's important".

Love ya, Brett, but you're off base about that!

The world may try to convince us that whatever happens in the end is what really matters. And in a way, I agree. Thank God that He doesn't hold our mistakes against us!!! We can still finish this life with His blessing, even though we mess up at various times throughout our walk. But God is definitely interested in how we live our lives.

He's interested in how we "play the game" of life!

God created us to bring glory to Him by sharing His truth with others. By serving others. By being a blessing to others. "The End" leaves no opportunity for such things. You've got to exercise sharing His glory while you're still in the game. Otherwise, you'll be like the person we read about in Sunday School this morning..."useless and unfruitful". And we owe too much to our Creator to spend a life only serving ourselves.

Yes, I know that in order to make it to the play-offs and the Super-Bowl, you've got to win games. But at what cost? Illegally filming the other teams private signals and motions? Look where that took Mr. Bill last football season. He may only have been fined a small amount, and only received a "slap on the hand", but he lost in a big way in the end. He sure didn't come out a champion. Probably one of the biggest upsets in NFL history.

So I say that the details of your life and how you play the game of life...matter.

And here's a little diddy about my team:

You can't get to heaven in a little red canoe (for YOU, Mark!),
'cause God's favorite color is Carolina blue!!!

And I KNOW He enjoyed their game today!!!! Every detail counted...right up through the last 2 seconds of the game...

This is for my precious friend

who can't make sense of the pain in her life right now.

I love you so much, and God sees.

Pain

The gift nobody longs for, still it comes

And somehow leaves us stronger

When it's gone away

Pray

I try and pray for Your will to be done

But I confess it's never fast enough for me

It seems the hardest part is waiting on You

When what I really want

Is just to see Your hand move

I want a peace beyond my understanding

I want to feel it fall like rain

In the middle of my hurting

I want to feel Your arms as they surround me

And let me know that it's okay

To be here in this place

Resting in the peace that only comes

In the waiting

Time

Time to let it go and just believe

Trusting in what no one else but You can see

Free

Freedom from the fears that close me in

When I can't get beyond where I have been

But then again

The silence doesn't mean that I'm alone

As long as I can hear

That I am still Your own

"In the waiting" by Greg Long

GULP!

My heart is in my throat right now. I just received the paperwork to submit an ad for the senior ad pages in the back of the yearbook. That would be for my Tyler.

That would be why I'm on medication-HA!!!!

How do you get here? Life passes so quickly. I can't believe that my Tyler is nearly a grown man. Not that he's all that mature. But in 4 months, he'll be 18...a legal adult. I'm a little bit afraid. Afraid for him, but mostly and selfishly afraid for me. He's mine! And we've been through so many trials and tribulations through this 18 years. Where did 18 years go? As I folded his fresh-from-the-dryer jeans this afternoon, I asked myself, "How much longer will I be folding his laundry?". My emotions and life started changing about 2 years ago, with the realization that time was passing quicker than I really wanted it to. All the questions come running through my brain...have my own faults and failures ruined Tyler? Has my selfishness played some terrible part in any lack of judgement on his part? Have I passed along traits to Tyler that I would never want him to possess.

The devil can eat away at your soul with questions like that. And it's certainly too late for me to try to instill in him the things that he desperately needs to know. Tyler is a wonderful young man! I'm proud of how "good" he has turned out to be. He doesn't get into trouble (except with us concerning his grades!!!)...no drugs, alcohol, sex, gangs, etc. He is a huge blessing to so many people. However, as his parents, Dean & I are able to get a bird's eye view of Tyler and where he could be headed. Being good natured isn't good enough to eat off of. And his looks, while heart-stopping in this Moms opinion, won't pay the bills.

Does he understand the concept of hard work? Does he know how harsh the world can be?

I am plagued with thoughts of things I'll never get to do with him again. It's torture, quite frankly! I'll never get to pick him up and put him over my shoulder to pat his back again. I won't be looking for clothing in his size at the consignment sale ever again (he's been out of that for about 4 years now!). I'll never get to rock him to sleep again. Are you crying yet? I am.

It seems that reality can only be pushed back for so long. And then you must face it. My only hope for my son, and even for me...is...

Christ.

I can't imagine what it must have been like for God to watch Jesus grow up. To watch Him be such a pure and innocent person. To be hailed as Master & King one week, and be despised the next. To have formed baby Jesus in Mary's womb, and then have to totally separate Himself from Jesus during the crucifixtion. I can't imagine.

And so thinking about Christ changes my perspective. For all the meds I joke about, and all those times I say "spank 'em!", these are the best years of my life. Dean & I came to that conclusion some years back, when things were so crazy with the kids being all much younger. My Mother said the same thing to me years ago.

This is life.

Live it out loud, as Brother Ron encourages us to do. Those rocking chair moments will be gone so quickly. Those back scratches at bedtime will be grown out of. And when your precious children are standing over you, as my precious son is now towering over me, you'll wonder where the time went. At some point, you'll miss the years when you had your little ones around you, safe & secure. The time before life changed so drastically and they were forced to experience pain, hurt, rejection, and the challenges of growing up.

I'm much older now. There are things that I would have taught Tyler way back when, if I'd known then what I know now. Hindsight really IS 20/20. But in all my imperfections, I've been with Tyler throughout his life. When there was nobody, there was Tyler and me. And in the beginning, I even had to fight for him. The fight was well worth the prize...my son.

Tyler has walked with God for most of his life. I've given him over to the Lord so many times. This time is no different. At this point, all I can do is place Tyler in God's hands.

Which is the best place I could ever hope for him to be.

Bacon & Sausage Update

The "pis" are getting fatter and fatter! Would it hurt Bacon's feelings to know that I spoke of her that way? Doesn't matter...we'll be eating her soon, anyway! Besides...pigs have feelings that are made out of rubber, right? Okay...maybe that was only Dumbo.

The day before we left to go to the wedding, Dean & Tyler completed the pigpen. I asked my wonderful hubby how he intended to get those "pis" in their new pen. He told me he'd do it with their slop. "Pigs always follow the food", he said.

We went out to the chicken coop to lure the pigs into their new pen. The yucky pig-smell was in full force...mud and all. Dean had his slop bucket, and they immediately started following him. But just before he got them to the opening of the pen, they became distracted and started sniffing around.

Next thing we knew, Dean was chasing them as they ran like pig lightening!!!

I laughed and laughed!!! Here's my incredibly hardworking man out in the pasture, after multiple knee surgeries (one of which was a total knee replacement)...chasing pigs! It was hysterical!!! They went around the barn a couple of times and spread out over the field. And the sheep just watched. The chickens clucked. And I HOWLED!

We've had a lot of fun with these pigs, and Dean was saying last night how much he's enjoyed having them.

Are you ever like those pigs? Yeah, we all "pig-out" sometimes, but that's not what I'm talking about. Do you ever get right up to the opening of your communication with God, only to get distracted by the things of this world? Friends, let me tell you that God will chase you until you can't run anymore. He'll zap you with His heavenly lightening if need be. But He loves you so much, that He won't settle for you pointlessly running around in unfamiliar territory for long. He wants you to be safe and He wants you with Him.

So...ummm...get in the pen. Get into a relationship with Him. You'll be well-cared for and fed each & every day if you'll rest in Him. You can "pig-out" on His Word.

And there's no stinky mud in your fellowship with Him.

The Little Blond Surfer Boy

So I stepped out last night. I did something that I said I wasn't going to do. My girls sometimes confuse that with lying.

"MOM! You said we could have icecream after dinner!!!", my pre-teen hollars.

"I said maybe."

"Well...that means probably, so you just lied." sweet Summerlyn Brooke says.

"MAYBE is MAYBE...not a YES. So I did NOT lie! I said M*A*Y*B*E*, and there's a huge difference!!!!"

Ah, the ignorance of childhood.

Anyway, I trimmed Luke's hair. You know...the little blond boy that looks like a surfer with his long curly hair???

When the trimming was complete...he looked even more like a girl. His brother had a fit! His Daddy said, "It won't last much longer". His Mama thinks he looks like a little model!

(the horsey pictures are from last week when my Mom came over and babysat Luke while I was working at the consignment sale...I wonder why he always looks so goofy when he's been with her?...a nyquil dipped pacy, perhaps?)

Anyway, on the way home from dropping the hoard off at school this morning (it's my week to drop off, and I love it!), God smiled at me. WOW! God really DOES things like that?!!! Yep! He sure does!!! I topped one of the many hills on Hill Rd (I've got it going on today!), and to my right, the sun was fully shining over the gorgeous hills of Tennessee! He knows I love to see the sun shining through the hills and light fog. It was beautiful and my heart was warmed!!!!

Do you realize that God has special surprises for you everyday?

If you don't, then you're too busy to see them. It may not be a beautiful sunrise over the hills of TN that makes you feel special. It could be that your coworker brought you a much needed cup of coffee. Maybe your boss told you to take the rest of the day off. Maybe your kids did something really sweet for you. Maybe your husband called just to say "I love you". God tells us that, too...He says "I love you".

When you wake up tomorrow morning, look for that surprise. Stop and smell the roses. Let God love on you a little bit.

You'll be better able to thank the coworker for the coffee, enjoy your day, more patiently teach your kids about lying, and truly let your husband know you love him.

And tell God you love Him, too.

An "A" For Effort?

This past couple of weeks have been a bluuuuuuur. While I've enjoyed some wonderful and exciting events and even better company, I must say that I'm ready to settle down! Anyone who knows me, knows I LOVE my daily routine. In fact, I rarely step out of that routine. In my routine, I'm safe, secure, and content. I can move at a leisurely pace (if you call doing 3+ loads of laundry per day, dishes, vaccuming, cooking, and running after Luke...leisurely!!!!). No pressure.

And minimal effort to step outside my comfort zone. In fact, if I was honest, I'd have to say on a lot of days, there is NO effort to step outside my comfort zone. Not even to take advantage of the free homemade applebutter that my neighbor (yes, we have neighbors within walking distance in "them thar hills"!) has offered. Not even to get the mail at the end of my driveway. Not even to visit the "pis" or "peep" (better known as pigs & sheep).

Just my comfortable routine, which includes lots of interaction with my almost 2 year old. We enjoy a 20-30 minute playtime on my king size bed every morning. I steal his pacy, and he claws my lips to get it back. I steal his lovey, and he screams at me to get it back. I tickle and he squeals. He crawls on me, and I knock him down onto the soft covers. He scoots under the covers, and I try to find him. I like that time with him. I actually LOVE that time with him! I put lots of effort into playing and bonding with Luke.

In my comfortable routine, there is plenty of time for me to put some good effort into my relationship with Christ. Do I take advantage of that? Sometimes. The passion that God has laid on my heart for this upcoming MOPS year, and what I'll be speaking on in our September meeting, is the family. How we all need to slow down and make time to be at home. But at the same time, let me stress that in doing so, we MUST put a lot of effort into the relationships we have within our family. And we must put forth the effort in our relationship with Christ.

What good is there in being at home with our family, if we simply shove the kids outside for most of that time? How strong is our relationship with Christ, if we only talk to Him when we feel like it? Let's just THROW DOWN, here...

I'm a big promoter in the belief that moms need time to themselves. BUT, just like that big 'ole box of wheat thins that you love (sundried tomato is THE SNACK OF THE YEAR!!!!), too much of a good thing turns into worthless fat. We must pray and ask God to show us ways to bond with our family. I'm good at bonding with Luke. But I seriously have to work on bonding with the other 4 kids. I can do the preschool age, blindfolded with my headphones on, but it's harder when they get older. They start to develop taste of their own and desires of their own. And some of those may be B-O-R-I-N-G to you! But if your family is going to bond, you've got to indulge those kiddies in some things they enjoy. And that may mean playing Barbies with them. It might possibly mean painting toenails or heading to Starbucks (Summerlyn's thing!). It could mean throwing yourself into a game of Mall Madness or Apples to Apples. And it could be that you'll have to sit in the same room with your teenager and just read your own book (Tyler). Now, THAT'S one I can handle for sure!!!!!

So what if God asks you to read a chapter from your Bible?

You may think it's the most boring chapter IN the Bible. But can you be still for 10 minutes and read it? God will honor your effort. He will change the desires of your heart. You might find that you actually LIKE Barbies...brushing their hair, etc. Starbucks is expensive, but an invaluable experience for your pre-teen to go with Mom for a peppermint mocha. And there are plenty of great games that you could enjoy, and that your younger kids would have fun playing! Sequence is a favorite in our home.

Remember that putting forth the effort to keep your home clean, produces the same results as putting some effort into your relationship with God...a true clean home & heart...a place of rest and security.

And so many blessings that you'll have to think up a new game just to count them!