Nothing More Than Feelings...

Sometimes I wonder if the sunshine will ever come out. There are days, and even weeks when I feel as though it's gone forever.

Key word: feel

Most of the precious people I know would likely be surprised at some of the feelings I have at times. Feelings of... hopelessness...unworthiness...insecurity...
Ever feel like "the world is out to get you"? How about days or weeks that it seems everything goes wrong? Nothing goes right...

Feelings so strong, that nobody can pull me out of...and only God can chip away at them and

reveal the truth.

Ephesians 4:14 tells us, "Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won't be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth."

This scripture is jOLtinG. It doesn't promise perfection. It doesn't say we won't be challenged. But back up a few verses to what the solution to our feelings is...
Ephesians 4:11..."Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God's people to do His work and build up the church, the body of Christ. This will continue until we all come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God's Son that we will be mature in the Lord, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ."

The solution to dealing with feelings that LIE, is to use every available resource that God offers (the knowledge and wisdom of the apostles/prophets/evangelists/pastors/teachers within our church), to draw close together in unity, faith, knowledge of Christ.

Because guess what? If we are unified, and dig into our faith in Christ, and are knowledgeable about the things of God...we can much better believe the truth found in Him, than the lie that we may feel!

Feelings LIE.

God never lies.

His truth is solid. His love cast out fear and doubt. So doesn't it make sense that if we spend time listening to what He says about us...what He says He created us to do...we'd be more likely to believe Him than anyone else?

Thank God for those apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, & teachers whom God gifted to bless others with His truth...and those special words that mean so much.

When at times, we feel like giving up...let us take a deep breath, and spare a few moments to let His truth seep into our very bones. He'll embrace our spirit...refresh our soul...and bring us peace.
And that's no lie.

New Life Awaits!

It's been a long time. And despite my promises to try...I haven't been very good at blogging over the past year. My heart still gets full. And I still want what God allows in my heart and life to be a blessing to others, so I'll keep blogging.

My last blog found it's way on here from Winston Salem, NC. So I'll update from there.

After a 6 month battle with lung cancer, I am happy to say that Ma struggles NO MORE!!!!! She officially was made PeRfEcT on November 2nd, 2010, by waking up to stand before her Lord. While this has been so difficult for my family, I have no question that if given the opportunity to come back to this earth, she would firmly refuse. Who WOULD want to come back, after spending ONE SECOND in the very presence of our Creator??!!!??

Christmas was a struggle. And we all deal with pain and heartbreak in different ways. My Mother has "latched on" FIERCELY to Ma's dog, Casey. I think at this point, it might kill her if something happened to him. I was ready to "make" something happen to him, after he bit me...purely unprovoked...when the whole family came together at Mom's house to celebrate Christmas together. And that was AFTER Casey almost took my brother's nose off of his face on the 2nd day of our visit. Jonathan had to go to the emergency room, while Casey had to go into confinement...by order of The Law. And I'm not talking about my law. I'm talking about THE Law. As in blue uniforms. Because Jonathan had to go to the sew-your-face-back-on unit of the hospital, they filed a police report. Casey was in BIG trouble (finally).
Everything turned out well, but Casey won't be making any visits to the Jones household. I'd rather spend my money moving my kids forward in life, rather than having to hold them down on a gurney while some intern attempts to sew their eyeball back in it's socket.

BTW...did I mention that Casey is small enough to put in your purse? He's a Terrier...or Terror, however you want to look at it.

So, we made it through Christmas. And despite our feelings of great loss, we did so with laughter. And of course, MANY tears.

And now it's February. Life goes on. And we're all going on with it.

Ma's birthday is next Tuesday. In earthly numbers, she's 83. In Heaven, she's perfect. No wrinkles. No dentures. No sagging.

No cancer.

No pain.

And I have all ideas, that THIS birthday celebration will be a most incredible event. One that we will mourn.

But one that she will never forget.

In Winston Salem

I'm in Winston. All of the times I've been here have been joyous occassions, save 4...when Grandma Spaugh died, when Uncle Steve died, when Papaw was hospitalized (with heart issues I think) and was pretending that he was fixing food...and I took it from him, saying "thank you for fixing my sandwich, Papaw!" (he looked at me like he did when I was a kid and had done something he wanted to smack me for), and when we buried him. I was hurt all of those times. My Papaw was the only Papaw I've ever known. He was funny, strict, and traditional...the typical Navy man, I suppose. Well, maybe not in this society anymore, but in short, he was the best Papaw, EVER.

I'm in Winston. The majority of my memories of being here are so comforting. When I was a kid, I saw my Grandparents anywhere from 4-6 times a year (they lived a distance away). That increased as I grew older. I remember visiting for a month in the summer, a few times, even. Papaw used to pay me to mow the yard, when I visited during the summer. And Grandma always bought me new shoes. Papaw cooked sausage and baked biscuits (the wimpy canned kind) on Saturday mornings, and Grandma talked & laughed her way through the memories we'd made in the past and made plans for future ones. Papaw watched football and Grandma went antiquing. Papaw fell asleep in his chair on Saturday afternoons, listening to big band music. Grandma drifted off while reading a book.

I'm in Winston...and it's July 31st, 2010. And my Ma (as my children call her) is battling cancer. Right now, she's sleeping. But when she has an awake moment, I crawl up on her bed and talk. We talk about little things here and there. Politics...casey (her dog)...a little of nothing...a little of something. She's not very comfortable right now. She's tired a lot. But, she would be, considering the side effects of the radiation treatments she's had. I'm not disappointed. I'm truly amazed at how quickly our lives have flown by. She's made such an impact on my life. A comforting impact. One full of so many funny memories.

Lola Ruth is really very good at recounting the funny memories, too. I could listen to the same recount of funny memories over and over again...and have! It's like hanging on to your favorite book because you don't grow tired of the story, and the funny parts are always funny...and comforting. None of that on this visit, but it's been part of my very blessed childhood, and I treasure that.

I could go on and on...

But my Aunt Debbie just came in. And I'm going to talk to her.

And make more memories.

Reality

I'm sure some of you don't approve of shows like "The Bachelorette". Believe me, I think the morals of this show leave much to be desired. But being facinated with human behavior and responses, these particular dating shows are interesting to me. The show that is running right now features "Ali". She's beautiful and seems like a sweet, sincere girl who is seeking love for all the right reasons. But I'm not really a believer that circumstances set up and determine one's path for love. I believe God does that! So while I admit that there is a draw for me in watching these shows and trying to determine what motivates these young people to participate, it's more intriguing to gage action versus reaction...reality versus pipe dream...truth versus fantasy. Thus, I haven't actually watched The Bachelorette on tv this season...I've watched several of the episodes online. Most recently, I watched Ali's response to "Frank", as he (being one of the 3 final potential mates) broke her heart by leaving the show in favor of reuniting with his ex-girlfriend.

And I had a "God-moment".

Not that I shouldn't be watching this show. Not that it's made up of the fantasy we carry in our mind that being accepted by a mate is the ultimate form of being loved and accepted in this life (because it's utterly NOT!).

The God moment came while I was sympathizing with Ali's cries and questions of "why?". Indeed!

WHY?

Why do we trust God so little sometimes, that we cry when He removes something from our lives that we thought belonged there? Hasn't He promised to work ALL things together for good? Has He ever failed us?

God is almost like a fantasy. His promises are everything our hearts and minds have ever longed for, and so much more, that we can't even comprehend His love, fully. He satisfies that longing for love and acceptance that only He can. He created that special place within us, so it only makes sense that only He can fill it! God surpasses our fantasies...our hope and dreams. He's the real deal. And He promises to never EVER leave us. We will never shed one tear because He rejected us...or because He left us behind. That promise is, of course, for those who love Him and have a personal relationship with Christ.

Finally, near the end of the episode, Ali states that she now knows that Frank is definitely not the man for her, and that the two remaining men are absolutely supposed to be there. And I had to chuckle...

because when we trust God enough to accept our daily lives with His perspective, only then do we grasp love and acceptance the way He intended us to.

And that's 100% reality.

Sunday!

My Mom and my Ma have encouraged me for a while, to share the day to day Jones Crew happenings, but my heart is so full sometimes and I consider it therapeutic to share that. It's been harder to write like that since I started working again, 1 year ago. But everyday life can be every bit as inspiring! Things at church were a little nutty today! I love my job...I work with anywhere from 50 to 80 volunteers (depending on whether people show up or not!). There are so many great things I get to do within the boundaries of the ministry I serve and the crazy-incredibly creative Lady that I work for, that I can't begin to list it all here!!! But it starts off with making coffee around 7:30am on the 3 days I work each work week, and ends AND begins again with loving on all those people, the parents, and the children, every Sunday morning from 9am to 1pm or so. I LOVE IT!!! It thrills my soul to love on these people...to serve the Lord this way. Some Sundays, it IS a labor of love in the sweaty kind of way. TODAY was one of those days!!!
After arriving at church, I was greeted by some fabulous ladies in Sunday School (I teach a ladies class every Sunday morning at 8am and LOVE IT!!!). I love them. I use the word "love" a lot, I know, but it's the only way I can describe these awesome opportunities and people that God has placed into my life!!! After neatly (and shockingly) putting away a nice game of "Last Word" (it was game-day, and by "putting away", I mean I WON...NOT YOU SHANNON!!!!), I ran down to begin the routine of getting the children's helpers and rooms taken care of. We wound up with 11 crawlers, so I had to keep moving people over to that room...it was a little bit crazy! Over the course of the session, I wound up running to The Crows Nest in the sanctuary...during service...to post 3 different kiddies numbers so that their parents could pick them up. I must have lost 5 pounds and a few brain cells by the time I ran down the steps on that last call! Made up for that at Bojangles on the way home, though... So after a few crying little ones, and one poop-in-the-floor incident...and countless miles of running (my brain gets fuzzy on the actual mileage), I'm home resting, so I can begin the process again. It's crazy, I know, but all this is "me" time. Being the mom of 5 doesn't lend itself to such, so my version of "me" time is probably a lot different than yours. Doing paperwork, database entries & changes, and preparing snacks, are all very satisfying tasks to me, and that's only the beginning! Compared to biting my tongue in the face of my pre-teen who is currently experiencing a VERY good reason to be ill and hateful, LADIES, persuading sometimes crabby people to serve little ones cheerfully, is nothing short of a big slice of apple pie!!! And I LOVE apple pie!!! There we go with that word again...

A Fresh Drink of Water

I love hydrangea. As long as I can remember, I've been facinated by their "snowball" appearance and tiny, delicate blooms. Growing up, there was one hydrangea bush in particular that caught my fancy. It was located on my Dad's home property in Hendersonville, NC. And as a child, I was comforted by the return of the big blue hydrangea bush each spring.

Even now, hydrangea bushes capture my mind, and because they symbolize a measure of comfort to me, they also make my heart beat a little bit faster.

For years, I've marveled over how quickly the hydrangeas get dehydrated. Their leaves droop, and the blooms look incredibly sad! Just as amazing is how quickly they re-hydrate. Within an hour or so of being watered, they literally perk up and look as if they are "on parade". Which, I suppose they are...to display the glory of God's creation!

God spoke to me about my precious hydrangeas.

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Just as the hydrangeas need fresh water everyday to make them healthy and cheerful, I need a word of fresh living water everyday, too. That will keep me spiritually healthy and my demeanor will definitely be more cheerful! We all need a fresh Word from God everyday.

Jesus stood and cried out, saying, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water". John 7:37-38

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Our purpose in life is to know God and to make Him known. If we don't experience His living water each day, then how in the garden world (and ours) can we do that? There's no question that we are thirsty! His desire is for us to be filled to overflow into the lives of others, much the way the hydrangea bush works all it's parts together to show His glory.

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We have 9 hydrangea bushes on our property. And they are sweet reminders of what God can and will do in our lives if we'll choose to sit with Him and be refreshed.

There's nothing like a fresh

drink of water.

God Always Says "Thank You"

Isn't God simply "amazing"? Our words are so inaccurate to describe how crazy good He is.
(recent snow in East TN!)
He is...

Everything.

He never hurts your feelings. He never misses a good deed. And He ALWAYS says "Thank You".

There are many other wonderful things I could tell you about God, but I want to focus on His manners...which are impeccable, I might add. Yep, God really does have manners. And that's something in my book! Trying to train 5 kids to not burp out loud, keep their elbows off the table, chew with their mouth closed, and hide in the corner when it's "toot" time (and I don't mean the corner of The Black Lion...you know who I'm talking to!!!), is almost laughable! I remember as a child that my Daddy would either slap our heads off or thump us real good if we did any of that stuff. And Daddy has ginormous hands. Anyway...back to God...
(Picture of Luke's self inflicted haircut)
He has very good manners. Perfect, in fact. "Thank You" is a big deal to Him! You can NOT out thank Him. He's ridiculous in the way He blesses! You can NOT out bless Him. Every time I give, He says "Thank You, Carmen".

How?




Like how I gave a box full of clothes to a neighbor's child...and the next morning, I woke up to find a box full of clothes on my porch.

"Thank You".

Like how when I shipped off a huge box of clothes to an old and dear friend of mine for one of her girls...two days later...Tyler says, "Hey Mom! What's this big bag of clothes on the porch...where'd that come from?".

"Thank You Carmen".

Like how a sweet little waitress at Calhoun's asked what that wonderful smell was, and we determined it was the bottle of Bath & Body Works Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin lotion I had just opened...and I gave her the whole bottle...and she was ecstatic and said, "Thank You so much!!!".

Dude...it's not because of anything I've done, but because of God...and various giving people that He has placed in my life (like my husband)!

I've been blessed to know several people who come to mind when I think about what the Bible describes as a "cheerful giver". I want to mention two of them in particular...
(Mom & Savannah at Thanksgiving)
My Mom is one. Still screaming over the leopardy "Kathy" bag! Not to mention the RL Randolph...

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that's randolph, not to be confused with Rudolph!

And my friend, Connie, is the other (say clothes...and lots of them!).
(Connie & her Mom)

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Both of these Ladies have taught me much about giving. While one gave birth to me and blesses our household with various items to make it a warm, inviting home & crazy fun trips and goodies for the kiddies...the other blesses our family with clothes, books, & other items for the girls (and Lightning McQueen was for Lukie baby!), not to mention a sweet friendship.

Mom has given much more than stuff...advice (wanted and unwanted, as Mother's give!)...love...acceptance...time...friendship, etc. Connie has given a portion of those things, too, but in a different way, and she's been ridiculous in giving items needed to my girls. Nearly every dress up item my girls have is from her. And Savannah's whole wardrobe is from Connie! My girls get crazy when a bag has been left somewhere at our house, because they KNOW it's from Connie!!! Both of these precious ladies have demonstrated to me why it's better to give than receive (although I LOVE receiving from them!!!). Because it's good for your soul...at least it's good for mine. And God is honored by your cheerful giving. And He always expresses Himself in ways that speak directly to YOU. He always says...

Thank You.